Thursday, October 1, 2009

Today I'm taking my life back

I'm sick and tired of having Adult ADD and letting it control my life. I'm tired of hiding behind it and using it as an excuse. I'm done. Rx or no Rx this is MY life. I refuse to let my ADD run it anymore.

My house and life are a mess because I can't ever finish anything. I say I'm going to do something then never do it. Adult ADD sufferers don't get personal assistants no matter how badly we need them. I have pieces of paper and notes in my phone for things I'm supposed to remember but forget to check them. I've gone into my kitchen more than 10 times this morning to clean it but wander out to do something else and forget to go back and finish it. I'm trying to do laundry, clean the playroom, the kid's rooms, the dining room, my room all at the same time. It's incredibly overwhelming. So much so that I usually wind up giving up. Not today.

Today I'm going back into the kitchen I still need to find Maggie's bottle. I'm going to wash all the glasses without stopping I need to clean the fridge out. I need to make my bed remember to get the trash bags out of Rach's room . I still need to go through the toys for the toy swap I need to clean the laundry room first so I have a place to put ugh the car port really needs to be swept. I'll just sit down and check my email really quick Rrrrrr, my desk is a mess and needs yikes! kids have started to take over my hutch which is the one place in the house I declared as mine man, I never did get to watch the Special Edition Titanic DVD Kai gave me for Christmas last year where did all my pens go? Carey needs to memorize another book to read since he's mastered the Hot Dog book.

Why all the colors? That's how my mind works in less than two minutes. Every color is a new thought, many aren't even finished before a new one starts. Many times it's even worse. Sometimes it's not being able to concentrate one minute to the next. This isn't just "where did I put my keys?" or walking from one room to another and not remembering why you were going there. For me, and parents like me, it's almost a disability. We feel alone, helpless, like we're the only ones going through this. Which is why I'm sharing.

I've said this before and I'll say it again, if someone you know is telling you about themselves having Adult ADD PLEASE do NOT say, "Oh, that happens to me maybe I have ADD!" and laugh. It's not a laughing matter to us. It's next to impossible to get a doctor to diagnose us with this. I heard "Oh, you're just a mom of 3" from three different doctors until finally someone listened when I was pregnant with my 4th. Now my life growing up makes so much more sense- my grades in school, my personality, and my relationships with others. I understand so much more now that I know I was growing up with ADD.

That being said. I'm going into my kitchen, putting a chair in front of the gate as a reminder to not walk out until it's finished. And I'm setting the timer for 20 minutes as well.

Today I'm conquering my ADD and I'm taking my life back.

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