The Other Side

I just finished a book called A Little Bit Engaged by Teresa Hill. Kate is an uptight professional who loves to make lists and fix everyone’s problems. Pastor Ben is young, his secretary thinks he lacks the skills to be a good pastor, and he tends to screw up when trying to help people. Kate falls for Ben when they team up to help 15 year old, Shannon, through her unplanned pregnancy. In the end, Shannon gives her baby to a young married couple who are unable to have children on their own. Kate and Ben surprise Shannon when they announce their engagement and their desire to adopt her because Shannon's mom and grandmother passed away and her dad kicked her out.

Adoption has been a large part of my life. I have a couple of friends who were adopted, I babysat for a family who adopted a little boy, and one of my sisters adopted a little girl. During the search for my biological parents I met-online-adoptees, birth mothers, biological siblings, and even a birth father. Every so often, on Soaring Angels, we'd see a reunion. Some went great, some were a disaster, and some would need time to work out.

The stories were heartbreaking. The desperation of children longing to find the parents who conceived them, mothers desperate to find the baby they cared for and nurtured for nine months, even a birth father who so desperately wants to hold his daughter. The laws are clear in most states. Adoption records are sealed. Period. In most states adoptees can receive non-identifying information. It's very vague but sometimes there is enough information to start a search. Searching is emotionally exhausting. Sometimes you get a lead, you get your hopes up, and then find yourself at yet another dead end. I've seen people who are still searching after thirty years. There are times when they do eventually find family members but are told their mother has passed away. In some instances, the biological family embraces the adoptee sharing stories of the woman who gave birth to them. In other instances, they are shunned.

Many adoptees have the support of their adopted families, like I did. However, I recently met a woman who does not have that support. Her brother was also adopted but he doesn't want to search for his biological family. Her mother is strongly against her searching. I admire her for being strong and going against what her mother wants. Fortunately, she has the support from her fiance who was also adopted.

Members from all sides of adoption are in support of opening records. At the very least, we would like to have our original birth certificates. I've jumped through hoops to get mine. I had to have a notarized form from myself, my parents, and my biological mom. I'm still waiting.

I'm not really sure I have a reason for this post. Thoughts started flowing after reading the book and I just started typing. I guess I'd like for people to be educated on the other side of adoption. Not the cute baby being placed in a loving home with a beautiful family, but the heartache many adoptees go through growing up not knowing where they came from and our struggles to find our biological parents. I'll touch on this again from time to time, further explaining aspects of adoption that most people are not aware of.

Slacker Fattie Tip – Go on a walk. While on your walk… jazz things up a bit. Skip, jog a few steps, stop and do jumping jacks, walk backwards (just watch where you’re going!). Walking is a great way to lose weight and jazzing it up will boost your results.

Sexy Meal Plan Tip – This is kind of an odd tip, but one that works for me (it actually came from my friend, Kris). My family loves chocolate chip cookies – as do I – so they are often lying around calling out to me. Occasionally I give in and take a bite of one. I'll chew it for a few seconds, and then spit it out. Gross, I know, but it fed my craving and only allowed a few select calories to sneak in.


Waist Watchers Countdown - 29 days
Sexy by Summer Countdown - 62 days

My Fairy Tale

I was adopted at birth. I have two amazingly loving parents and two loving and supportive older sisters. But there was something missing. A hole. Deep in my heart.

When I turned 18, my parents took me to the lawyer that handled my adoption so we could find my biological parents. He said he couldn't help us. We had no idea what to do next or how to find them. So, my hole was still there. Sitting empty. Deep in my heart.

Fast forward to the 4th worst moment in my life. During a routine ultrasound in the 7th month of my second pregnancy, we were given wonderful news. It's a boy! A few minutes later, there was a problem. He's not growing like he should be. Three weeks later – the 3rd worst moment in my life. My baby, my little boy, was diagnosed with Trisomy 18. Hubby knew it wasn't from his side of the family because he knew his medical background. It was possible that it was a fluke, but I didn't know. Two weeks later – the 2nd worst moment in my life. My little Angel was placed in my arms, where he stayed (unless held by other friends or family) until he took his last breath. Four days later, the worst moment in my life, February 1997. I buried my Angel.

This experience lit a fire under me and fueled my desire to find a way to get my medical history. We went to court twice and were finally told that the state had to find my biological mom and get updated history. It was during this time I was told that I could receive non-identifying information. The day I received it, a small part of the hole filled in. I knew how old both of my biological parents were when I was born. I knew what they looked like and a tiny bit about their lives. Then, we waited. And waited. And waited. I registered with the ISRR and every free adoption reunion site I could find.

Searching is extremely emotionally exhausting. I could only search for so long before I had to take a break. Fast forward to February 2008. I was suffering from self-esteem issues and emotional issues that were related to the hole. Deep in my heart. I got back on the computer and back on Soaring Angels. An Angel on there remembered me from my last search. I know, now, that I was supposed to have been given my biological parents' names not long after I joined Soaring Angels the first time, about 4 years earlier. Within 2 weeks I received a phone call. I don't know who the woman was, nor do I care. She was the one who told me who my biological parents were. I wrote their names down and brought them to Hubby. I held it up and said, "This is them." Tears were streaming down my face.

I don't know how to describe what happened next. It was like a tornado of energy. I emailed three of the Angels that worked on my search and told them the names. I had just gotten an email from one of them with her phone number. I called her and was crying so hard she couldn't understand me. As soon as I was able to calm down enough to tell her about the phone call, she got on her computer and within minutes had my biological mom's address. I emailed my friend, Kris, to let her know and she asked if she could see what she could find out. The next two days, we all spent glued to our computers, searching for everything we could find. I wrote draft after draft, trying to find the right words to put in letters to the two people who I wanted so badly to meet. It was Easter, so I decided to wait until after the holiday to mail the letters. I wasn't sure how they would feel if the Easter bunny brought them an extra kid that Sunday.

I remember the day I mailed the letters. Reyna went with me to the post office. I had tears in my eyes as I sent them and got the tracking numbers. I spent the next two days refreshing the tracking pages to see where the letters were. Each time they stopped in a different destination, I posted an update on Soaring Angels and sent out emails. Finally, I was able to update that the letters were in the mail boxes.

This is where is gets a little weird. My biological mom and dad both went home for lunch that day. They both checked the mail that day (neither usually do). They both looked through the mail. They read my letters at the same time. My biological dad went back to work and sent me an email. I was on my computer when a little window popped up telling me I'd received an email from him. I just stared at it. When the window closed, I screamed, "HONEY! I got an email!" He came running and we read it together. That night I called him and we talked for over an hour. We tried to fill in as much information as possible in a short time. I learned I had 2 brothers and a sister. I had 2 aunts and grandparents. This was new to me as both my parents are only children and growing up I only had my dad's dad and mom's mom as grandparents. Then it was my biological mom's turn. We, too, tried to fit in a lot in an hour. I learned I had 2 sisters and a brother. I have an uncle and 2 grandparents.

A few days later, on Saturday, I met them both. My biological dad, Hubby, and I met at Shell's. I hugged him until he asked, "Is she ever going to let go?" We had an amazing lunch and talked non-stop the whole time. I brought my baby book for him to look at. Finally, we said goodbye, took a few pictures and I was off to meet my biological mom.

She opened the door and couldn't get to me fast enough. She wrapped me in her arms and the tears started. I met her husband and my sisters. We were only going to stay for a couple of hours. We didn't leave until 9 PM. We shared stories and pictures and more stories.

We discovered we lived 2 miles from my biological mom for 2 years (this was during the time we were going to court). I used to drive past their street all the time, never knowing my family was right there. One of my aunts worked at my high school in the library. I talked to her and had no idea she was my aunt. She and I were at the same funeral a few years ago. I looked right at her, never knowing I was looking at my aunt. My brothers all know each other. Both biological parents drive the same kind of car. Most of my siblings went to the same high school I went to. We were all right there, 10-15 minutes from each other my whole life.

Driving home that night, that hole, deep in my heart, was filled. I'd been accepted by both biological parents with open arms. My search was over. Best of all, I have complete support from my parents and 2 older sisters. They are all very happy for me that I've finally found what I'd been searching for. My life is complete.

No tips today. Just be happy.

Self Esteem

This is something I didn't have for most of my life. I'm no super model but I'm not ugly either. I never thought I was pretty or attractive. Whenever I would tell someone I had low self-esteem they would always ask, "Why?"

The first reason is something a lot of people deal with. Junior high (or middle school) is a very delicate time for pre-teens and teens. My experience was horrible. There were two girls who were very mean to me. They would say mean things, talk about me behind my back, and spread rumors about things I didn't do (some of which I didn't even know what they meant, yet). One of these mean girls caught me after dance and drill practice one day. I was by myself and she approached me with 2 of her friends. She had a lump of clay in her hand, broke off little pieces of it, and threw it in my face. They spent about five minutes doing this and calling me awful names. I was terrified that they were going to beat me up. Eventually they got bored and walked away. I cried all the way home (it's really hard to ride a bike while crying, I don't recommend it).

The other mean girl would make fun of my clothes, my hair, and my choice of friends. I've since learned that Molly Ringwald's character "Andy" in the movie Pretty In Pink wasn't the best choice of a roll model while in junior high. I'd wear blue Converse with a denim skirt. I spray painted a pair of my ballet shoes silver and wore them to school. I used my Swatch watch as a pony tail holder. I didn't want to be the preppy Polo-wearing, sock-scruncher, preppy upper middleclass snob a lot of the other girls at school were. I wanted to be my own person. I was friends with everyone – jocks, cheerleaders, dancers (drill team, not pole), metal heads, dorks, nerds, surfers, even the skinheads (which was a little weird since one of my best friends was black & he's still one of my BFF's). I had books dropped on my head on purpose, so the dean gave me a middle locker. Seventh graders had bottom lockers, 8th graders had middle lockers and 9th graders had top lockers. Someone taped a roach to my middle locker (it's Florida, too easy to find a roach). I was then moved to another middle locker, but that one was targeted, too. Fortunately, my 9th grade friend let me share his locker. He was a tall, cute surfer. No one was going to mess with his locker!

The second reason I had low self-esteem was because I was adopted. It had nothing to do with how I was being raised. I just felt lost. Like something was missing. I didn't really know who I was.

Wow, I thought the first reason would be easier to explain than this one! But, that about sums it up.

Last year, two big things changed for me and allowed me to gain a lot of self confidence.

The first was meeting my biological parents in March of 2008. Seeing my biological mom and dad, meeting them and knowing where I came from helped tremendously. I could see where I got my eye color, know why my hair was brown and I why I was short (both of them are short so I didn't stand a chance). These little things that so many people take for granted made such a huge impact on my life, both negatively and positively. I felt whole for the first time. The little empty spot in my heart was finally filled. I found the part of me that was missing. I discovered who I was. Ok, wow again. I thought this would be much longer. Hmmmm. There's really not much more to say about it other than finding my biological parents was something I needed to do and my life has been much better since I met them.

Last Fall, I was able to do another thing that needed to be done. What happened to me in junior high with the mean girls, affected me ever since. When I joined Facebook, I joined another site someone had set up that was just for those of us who went to the same high school. Not long after joining, a name popped up – it was the lesser of the two mean girls. I think she requested me as a “friend” first. She was cordial and asked how I’d been. I could have responded several different ways. I chose to tell her that before I could be friendly, I needed to tell her how her bullying affected me in a very negative way ever since.

The most powerful words I wrote were, "I forgive you."

I didn't need a response from her. Oh, the incredible feeling that came over me!! I felt like the world was lifted off my shoulders!! It was unbelievable!!! (Sorry, Kris, the extra exclamations are needed here!) She did write back and though she didn't remember what she'd specifically done, she apologized and said that she acted that way because of her own self-esteem problems. We have since become friends, not close, but friends nonetheless.

Looking back, I'm angry. Not at her. At myself. I'm angry that I allowed someone to have that much power over me. I couldn't do much about my adoption problems but I didn't have to allow someone to make me feel the way those girls made me feel. I look back at old junior high and high school pictures and see that I was pretty (well, not always in junior high but I was in high school, dammit!).

I lost a bit of that self-esteem when I gained 20 pounds a few months ago. But with the two weight loss competitions I'm in, I'm gaining it back, the self esteem not weight. Yesterday, I actually went out in public in my bathing suit. Yup, the same one pictured in the Thing 1 and Thing 2 post. I'm not where I want to be yet, but I've lost enough weight that I can lay on the beach in a bikini and not be embarrassed. That little milestone gave me a big esteem boost. And, the cute guy with the boat didn't hurt either!

Slacker Fattie tip- Relax. Take a day. ONE day. Do nothing unless you really feel compelled to. Yesterday I took the kids to a lake with a little beach. I got some sun, the kids had fun, and I finally felt ok to wear my bathing suit without covering up in a snow suit.

Sexy Meal tip- Relaxing does NOT mean taking a day to eat whatever you want. Stick with your plan, whatever it is. You can have one small indulgance. SMALL. If you over do it, you'll feel like crap tomorrow AND be filled with regret.

I <3 my pc, my friends are in there!

I admit it. I'm an addict. My name is Katie and I'm addicted to my computer. My friends and family are in there, honest! I "see" and talk to them every day....ALL day.

I became an addict about a year ago. I decided to start searching for my biological mom after taking some time off (it's emotionally exhausting). Santa brought the kids a computer for Christmas and we put it in the dining/playroom. This made it easier for me to monitor what the older 2 were doing on the computer. It also made it easier for me to search online while keeping an eye on the younger two.

Once again, I joined Soaring Angels on Yahoo groups and registered on every free adoption registry I could find. After getting my biological parents’ names, I was able to start searching for every tiny bit of information on them (kind of scary when you find out how much info is actually on the internet). This led to me creating a MySpace account so I could share pictures of me and my kids before meeting Cindi and Louis. This led to me adding my bio mom, my sisters, brothers, aunts and cousins as “MySpace friends” as we all began getting to know each other. My computer time increased as I was making my page pretty and reflecting my mood, personality, or whatever I was interested in at the moment. I was constantly adding pictures and checking out what new pictures my family had. Take away my computer, and you take away my family.

I tried to get my high school friend, Kris, to create a MySpace but she planted her foot down and said she was happy with Facebook. Sooooo, I joined Facebook. Holy crap! Talk about addictive. She had been pretty much invisible on there using it mostly for the kids in her youth group. Then she added me. On FB, every person who ever spotted you in a grocery store, said "hi" in passing in the hallway at high school, sat behind you in a class in junior high and/or pulled your pigtails in elementary school is on there. And they will find you and your "friends". Sorry, Kris!

By the time I deleted my account I had 200 "friends." If they had an email address, I added it to my yahoo email contacts. I discovered who really wanted to find me, who wanted to know how my life was compared to theirs, and who just wanted more "friends" to their list. I found some old friends that I was so excited to reconnect with and we still stay in contact through email. One grew up across the street from me and now lives here in Tampa! We get our kids together for play dates while we play catch-up.

One of the best things to come out of my short stint with FB was finding 2 other friends Melissa and Beth, both from high school. We weren't that close then, but boy are we close now! We email each other all day. So much so, that if I go exercise for 30 minutes, I come back and have 20+ new messages! I got tired of typing in their addresses so they are now in the group I call "9 to 5 Ladies" because this is when we email the most. After 5pm, we switch to texting! We offer each other advice, support, laughs and tears. Take away my computer, and you take away my friends.

Sometimes, Carson and Maisie want a turn on the computer. I use this time to tidy the playroom, do dishes, vacuum, exercise, etc. Ok, not always. Santa brought Kelly and Reyna laptops, so I'll load the dishwasher and then check my inbox on the lap top. Switch the laundry and check my inbox. Boogie on the mini-trampoline with the laptop in front of me so I can – yup – check the inbox!

This is my story. I'll see you at next week's meeting unless I need to attend another one in-between. Off to do the dishes – well, after I check my inbox!

Slacker Fattie Tip – This actually comes from my friend, Kim, who always has great exercise and nutrition tips for me when we get together. I have knee pain from all the dancing I did when I was younger (tap, jazz and modern just to clarify). Kim suggested working on my quads (why are squats the cure for everything?) and doing the standing quad stretch – where you pull your foot behind you to kick yourself in the butt. For my lower back pain, she suggested stretching my hamstrings which Hubby helps me do because I don't go down far enough when I do it by myself (cuz it hurts!).

Sexy Meal Plan Tip – Search the internet for low calorie recipes. Fitnessmagazine.com has a ton and I’ve tried several of them. It's helped me find new exciting foods to try and helped me discover there are cheeses other than mozzarella, cheddar and American (which Kristi keeps trying to tell me).

Suddenly Siblings

I told you about my moms. I told you about my dads. What’s next? My siblings! I'm touching on this topic in between fitness/weight loss posts because this time last year, I was given the names of my birth parents after a 17 year search.

For 33 years, I had two older sisters whom I love very much. Although we were not very close, I knew that if I ever needed them, they would be there for me, and vice versa. If I needed advice, I knew they would give it to me. If I wanted to be annoying, I'd go out to the pool where they were with all their friends and look oh-so-adorable. We fought for the front seat (before air bags and seat belt laws), did the "Mooooom, she's looking at me!" at breakfast, played license plate ABC's on vacations, and spent countless hours at the beach. Me and my 2 sisters.

We are all grown up with kids of our own now. They are both very supportive of me finding my biological families. Although I now have new siblings, my adopted sisters will always be my real sisters. I will always love them, my 3 nephews and niece very much.

The number of siblings, nephews, and nieces changed a year ago. The day I met my biological mom, I also met her 2 daughters & my 1/2 sisters. After chatting for a few hours, the older one asked if Carson would be interested in being the ring bearer in her wedding. A few minutes later, she asked me to be a bridesmaid. I was so touched and said "Yes" immediately. Since I never allowed myself to think beyond my bio mom opening the door, I never allowed myself to think if I'd be accepted by my 1/2 siblings (which I think of as whole, not half).

My little sister was quiet that day and was just taking everything in. My sisters didn't know about me until earlier that day. I also met my niece and my almost brother-in-law. The baby was still growing in the older sister's belly at the time (I was on speaker phone when he came out, though!). It was such a surreal moment meeting my biological mother, step-dad, and their daughters – my family by blood.

The only sibling missing that day was my brother who was at a wedding with his wife. My poor brother had no idea his new 1/2 sister was meeting the whole family until he came home the next day. Minutes after our mom showed him my letter he was on the phone anxious to speak with me, a complete stranger! We spent at least 30 minutes chatting non-stop. My kids were growing antsy, though, as we were at the Aquarium in downtown Tampa. As much as I hated to, I had to hang up with my little brother (well, not little since he towers over me). Also, I can't leave out my biological step-sister (are you confused yet?) and her two beautiful daughters who I met last September at the wedding.

So, here's the totals so far: 4 sisters, one step-sister, 1 brother, 2 nieces, 4 nephews (1 from Hubby's sister), and 2 step-nieces.

Then there are my bio dad's children. He told his daughter about me and she immediately added me to her friends list on MySpace (as did my other sisters and brother). She invited me to her wedding (which, sadly I had to miss) and we got to know each other through hundreds of MySpace messages and pictures. She even asked my opinion on baby names before she had her son! My bio dad also has two sons. I haven't had the opportunity to get to know either of them as the youngest is usually working when I'm in town and the other is in the Marines. My bio dad emailed his oldest son around April Fool's Day. He thought it was a good joke, suddenly having an older sister pop up...surprise! It wasn't. I hope that one day we will find time to sit down and talk and get to know each other.

So the grand total for siblings and their kids (my brother on my bio mom's side had a baby, too): 6 sisters, 3 brothers, 1 step-sister, 2 nieces, 7 nephews, and 2 step-nieces. Whew! I think I got everybody.

I could never see past finding my biological parents – two people. I never imagined all the biological family members that I would also get to meet one day. In the end, I now have more sisters, brothers, nieces, nephews… who are all real to me.

Slacker Fattie Tip – If you have kids, take them outside to play, and play with them. It's great exercise and a wonderful bonding experience. If you don't have kids, borrow someone else's. Just remember to give them back when you're finished.

Sexy Meal Plan Tip – Try this sandwich from fitnessmagazine.com....yum

my!
Herbed Cheese & Tomato Sandwich

Ingredients:
* 6 ounces low-fat cottage cheese
* 1 garlic clove, minced
* 2 tablespoons chopped fresh chives
* Dash of salt and pepper
* 1 whole-grain bagel
* 4 slices tomato
* 1 orange
Place cottage cheese in blender and puree until smooth. Stir in garlic, chives, salt, and pepper. Spread mixture on bagel and top with tomato slices. Eat with orange.

Dad cubed

Yesterday I shared with you about both of my moms. Today, I thought I'd share with you about my dads. All 3 of them.

Daddy is my real dad. He's the one who took me fishing under the Eau Gallie bridge. He’s the one who let me snuggle with him in his recliner that only he sat in. He's the dad who cheered me on at soccer games and quietly took pictures of me at my dance recitals. Daddy is the one who taught me how to ride a bike and drive a car. He's the one who rushed me to the ER when I got in my 2nd car accident (neither were my fault). He's the dad who taught me to flip my head over when I was blow drying my hair, it was quicker (a tip I've since passed onto my daughters).

Daddy is the one who gave me away on my wedding day even though as we stood at the top of the stairs I said, "Daddy, don't give me away." After 16 years of marriage, he's still my Daddy. He's the dad who was happy and proud each of the 5 times I made him a Bubby (grandpa). He's the dad who, like my mom, knew what Hubby and I were going through when we lost Jacob. He's the dad who
wanted a little girl so much after losing his own son. Daddy is the dad who still lets me snuggle on his lap in his recliner (not the same one) that only he sits in. He's also the dad who reads to my children in that same chair. He's my real Daddy.

Then there's my biological dad. He's the dad who sent me an email minutes after he received the letter I sent him letting him know who I was. He's the dad who said these first words to me that I'll never forget – "I've been wondering for the last 5 years if I would receive a letter like this." No words can express the joy in my heart knowing he'd thought of me. He's the dad who has learned to accept my hugs because I'll never stop giving them. He's the one who drove 2 1/2 hours so I could spend our first Father's Day with him and drove another 2 1/2 hours to watch Kelly perform at a football game, then take my family out to lunch the next day. He's the dad who sneaks money to my kids knowing they love him even if he didn't spoil them. My bio dad is the dad who wants to get to know me unlike so many biological dads and he's real, to me.

Then there's my step-dad. Well, he is my biological step-dad. He's the dad who isn't technically my dad in any way but accepted me as his daughter from the moment my bio mom received my letter. He's the dad who loves me as he loves his daughters, my sisters. He's the dad who pokes fun at me just like my other dads. He's the one who greets me with a hug like I've been in his life all along. He's the dad who, 3 months before my letter came, agreed to help my bio mom look for me without hesitation. He's the dad who calmed me down after my youngest sister got in a car accident coming home from visiting me. My step-dad is the dad who supported my mom when she told him about me and never judged her for the decision she made. He is my step-dad and is real, to me.

I am blessed to have 3 dads who all love me and care about me. Most adoptees are very lucky to find their biological mothers. Some are lucky to be accepted. Few ever find or are accepted by their biological fathers. This is another reason mine is a Fairytale story.

Slacker Fattie Tip – If you gain back some of the weight you lost this is not an excuse to throw in the towel. Use it, instead, as motivation to work harder. A week and a half ago I gained back 3 pounds. It made me mad and I fought hard to lose it, as well as another pound.

Sexy Meal Plan Tip – Have chicken and veggies for breakfast. I got tired of eating egg whites and oatmeal so I tried this. Who said you had to eat chicken only for dinner? It's your meal plan (remember, not diet, meal plan). You decided what you eat and when, no matter how weird people think you've become.

Blessed

A life-changing event occurred a year ago although I can't believe that much time has gone by already. It was something I never thought would happen. I dreamt about it, wrote about it, cried about it and was angry about it. A year ago today, I had no idea my life was about to change forever.

A year ago today, I was still spending countless hours on the computer searching for my biological mother. I had what is called "non-identifying information" but I wanted more. I knew what color hair she had (brown, like mine), what color eyes she had (hazel, like mine), what her build was (medium height and weight, like mine). I knew what year she was born and what area of the country (Southern Gulf Coast state was as specific as DCF would get). I knew how old she was when she had me, what religion her family was, that she had a little brother and that her dad was in a branch of the Armed Forces (Air Force).

What I didn’t know was her name. I didn’t know if she was married. I didn’t know if she had more kids and if they knew about me. I did not know if she ever thought about me.

When I would tell people that I was adopted, the first question they would ask is, "Do you want to find your real mom?" I knew who my real mom was. She's the woman who tucked me in at night. The one who kissed my hundreds of scrapes and bruises during my tomboy phase. She's the woman who read me stories every night and fixed me breakfast every morning. She's the one who yelled at me when I was in trouble and held me when I got my heart broken. She's the one who sat up worrying until she heard my car pull safely in the driveway and saw me walk unharmed through the front door. She's the one responsible for who I am today and who listens to me apologize for the person I used to be while I was growing up. The one who helped me get ready the day I got married. My real mom is the woman who squeezed my hand and cried with me when I buried my son, knowing exactly how I felt because she'd buried her own. Barbara IS my real mom.

A year ago, I found my other mom. My biological mom. The mom who was forced to give me to a family who could take care of me because she was unable to take care of me herself. She was the one who nurtured me and cared for me as I grew inside her womb. She's the one who had to leave the hospital empty-handed and brokenhearted. She's the woman who had to make one of the hardest decisions of her life. She's the woman who, I now know, thought of me every day. Who never stopped loving me. The woman who wanted to find me as much as I wanted to find her. My biological mom is, after finally meeting her, real to me.

I feel very fortunate. Not all adoptees are placed in such loving homes. Not all adoptees are accepted wholeheartedly by their biological moms. I have the best of both worlds. I was blessed with a Fairytale adoption story. I am blessed to be loved by 2 moms.

To be continued.....

Slacker Fattie Tip – When you're cleaning or folding laundry, put on some music. Plug your iPod into your head or play the radio. Listen to your favorite CD. Most importantly, dance. Dance like you've never danced before. No one's watching so live it up. I work up a sweat, get my housework done and have fun doing it.

Sexy Meal Plan Tip – Although cheese is not on my meal plan, I allow myself to have it once a week melted over steamed veggies. It's only 60 calories and keeps me from eating a slice of pizza when my kids order out.