Friday, September 11, 2009

Steven Curtis Chapman, Bio Dad, and Me

I recently discovered that blogspot counts "drafts" as posts. My 100th post was most likely 90-something. I'm getting close to 200 so today I decided to start going through my drafts to either finish or delete them. I'm not sure why I never posted this one as it was pretty much finished. This was a very special day for me that I will always remember:

Last Saturday I had the pleasure of spending the day with my biological dad. If this is your first time visiting my blog let me catch you up to speed (if you've followed all along bear with me for a moment). I was adopted when I was two days old. I started searching for my biological mother when I turned 18 and 17 years later, I finally found her. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would ever meet my biological father as most do not want to be found. A year later, we've developed a wonderful relationship and I am blessed to have him in my life.

I love, love, love Steven Curtis Chapman and was ultra excited when I found out he was coming to Glory at the Gardens at Busch Gardens. I sent bio dad an email and asked him if he wanted to come. He did! We got there early so we could walk around the park for a while. I got him on my favorite roller coaster, Montu, and it was a blast-at least for me. Then we wandered through the animals leading Kelly, my fifteen year old daughter, on a wild goose chase as she tried to catch up with us. She was there with a friend. Eventually she found us at the hippos which is my favorite animal. I could stay there all day (which you kind of have to if you want to see them doing anything exciting). The three of us wandered through the park giving bio dad a chance to get to know Kelly without my other three kids around. I don't know how to explain their relationship before then. It's not that they didn't get along they just didn't have an opportunity to really learn more about each other. On this day they talked and bio dad was able to watch the unique relationship Kelly and I have with each other.

On our way to the concert area we passed Sheikra, my second favorite roller coaster. Since I usually have the little kids with me I don't get to ride it often. Kelly convinced bio dad to ride it even though he thought he would have a heart attack and die. We only ride in the front so we can look down the 200 feet of track which is at a ninety degree angle. They dangle you like that for about 5 seconds then let you go. I scream the whole way down...every time. Bio dad liked this one, too.

Eventually we made out way to the concert area. We were a few minutes late but I now know that it was part of a plan God had. I'd mentioned in an earlier post that I'd said something that ticked bio dad off. We talked about it on the phone before he picked me up and touched on it a little while we walked around the park. Just after we walked in Steven Curtis Chapman started to sing a song called "God is God."

My Greeting Videos

Here are the lyrics:

And the pain falls like a curtain
On the things I once called certain
And I have to say the words I fear the most
I just don't know

And the questions without answers
Come and paralyze the dancer
So I stand here on the stage afraid to move
Afraid to fall, oh, but fall I must
On this truth that my life has been formed from the dust

God is God and I am not
I can only see a part of the picture He's painting
God is God and I am man
So I'll never understand it all
For only God is God

And the sky begins to thunder
And I'm filled with awe and wonder
Til the only burning question that remains
Is who am I

Can I form a single mountain
Take the stars in hand and count them
Can I even take a breath without God giving it to me
He is first and last before all that has been
Beyond all that will pass

God is God and I am not
I can only see a part of the picture He's painting
God is God and I am man
So I'll never understand it all
For only God is God

Oh, how great are the riches of His wisdom and knowledge
How unsearchable for to Him and through Him and from Him are all things

So let us worship before the throne
Of the One who is worthy of worship alone

This touched us in a way I wish I could explain. It really puts your life into perspective. For those who think they know it all, can do whatever they want with out thinking about repercussions, who think only of themselves, who believe
they are in control, you're not. God, or whatever higher power you believe in, that is who is in control.

Specific memories of that day have already begun to fade but the memory of walking into that field during this song with a man I never thought I'd meet and have come to love- that memory will be with me forever.

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