With Mother's Day is coming up, I thought I'd share some of my favorite "mom moments" with you. If you're not a parent, you may not appreciate the humor. Kids are the greatest medicine for depression....especially since it was probably one of them that caused you to be depressed in the first place!
FYI- Kelly is 15, Reyna is 12, Carson is 5, and Maisie is 2.
Maisie: "I gotsta go peep!" Translation, potty time...pronto!
Carson loves to give me hugs. Three months ago when I weighed 140 pounds he gave me a hug and said, "Mommy, you have squishy fat." Ummm, thanks.
Last week, he gave me a hug and said, "Mommy, you're squishy fat is getting smaller!" Ummm, thanks!
Kelly: Last weekend says "Kayla likes your boobs." Ummmm, thanks?
Reyna: Two weeks ago said, "You're a great mom. Sometimes you yell too much, and you don't remember stuff very well, and you ground me for no reason, but you're still a really good mom." Ummmm......
A month ago I was having a hard time trying to get Maisie to go to sleep so I decided to sing her a lullaby since it always worked with the other kids.....she started singing along with me. Next!
Parents point of view – We must know where you are and with whom, if you change locations let us know, no riding in boats or jet skis, no riding in other teen's cars, if people are drinking at a party you can call us to pick you up with no questions asked.
Teens point of view – You don't want me to have any fun!
It took 3 times for Hubby to explain something to Kelly before she understood it. Hubby says, "Well, your mother did drop you on your head." I said, "I did not, she rolled off the bed!" That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
When Kelly was 2, Hubby had banana peppers on a plate. She started to take one and he told her not to. When he wasn't looking, she snatched one up and stuck it in her mouth. She spent the next 3 minutes rubbing her tongue up and down the couch.
Hubby and I were going out to dinner last year, Maisie says, "Mommy wooks wike a pwincess." Carson says, "You da pwettiest Mommy in the world." Reyna says, "Ooooh, Mommy, you look pretty." Kelly says, "You look fat in that dress." Great. Who's right?
The worst word to teach a 2 year old to say is "sit"....it always comes out sounding like "shit."
Words you never want to hear coming from the other room:
Any type of whispers.
BOOM! Me: What was that? Them: Nothing! (yeah, right)
Them: (too loudly of course) "She'll never notice" Me: "Notice what?" Them: "Nothing!"
Silence. This means something is very, very wrong.
Them: "Mom, where are the paper towels?" Me: "Why?" Them: "No reason"
And my all time favorite.....
Lessons I've learned as a mom:
Pudding makes the best finger paint.
My kids are not perfect.
Baby wipes can clean up anything.
I am not perfect.
Check pockets for gum before putting clothes in the washer.
The Magic Eraser is mom's best friend.
You are the best alternative to a tissue....at least in your child's eyes.
You're boobs are no longer yours.
Nothing is no longer yours.
You must have at least one escort under 3 feet tall to accompany you to the bathroom.
Nothing makes you gag anymore; you've cleaned it all and smelled it all.
Motherhood is not as cute as TV and movies make it seem...it's better.
Burying your child is the worst hurt in the world.
A child's laugh is worth all the smelly diapers and arguments in the world.
A hug makes everything bad go away.
Happy children are much more important than a clean home.
I am my children’s biggest role model.
Most of all, I've learned that there is no greater unconditional love than that of a mother and a child.