I've been working on a post all day today and I can't seem to get it finished. It just doesn't feel right. Or maybe the timing isn't right. It seems all I can write about is not being able to write. Right now, I'm thinking it's distractions. I currently have fifteen windows open on my computer. I keep checking my twitter, email, and various Steven Curtis Chapman youtube videos.
Fifteen minutes later...
This post is taking a direction that I hadn't planned on because of those distractions. Earlier in the week I was struggling emotionally. I felt I was being attacked on the competition website that I belong to. It's been ongoing over the last few months but it took a big turn after I submitted "Drunk drivers killed my friends." Ugh, I hate highlighting and deleting but I was getting off topic (just deleted 2 long paragraphs). Anyway, another blogger informed me that I'd placed my post in the wrong category. I disagreed but asked the site's permission to move it (I'd struggled with where to place it as there are several categories). He disagreed again. Well, everyone is entitled to their opinion. I brushed my tears away and tried really hard to let my hurt go. I was then accused of plagiarism, using multiple accounts to vote myself up (because I really need that whopping $40/$10 winners receive), and not posting often enough (you only need to post once per time slot). My favorite accusation was from an anonymous commenter. They "outed" me as being another blogger. Why is this my favorite? Because she and I have known each other since high school. She owns a business in Melbourne (not Australia) and has one son which she writes about. I live in Tampa, am a SAHM, and have four kids all of which I write about. I guess I'm more of a supermom than I thought since I can live on opposite sides of the state, stay at home and run a business, and chase after 5 kids.
So anyway, this is part of the reason I haven't posted much this week. It's drained me mentally and emotionally and I'm trying to get back on track. I've had support from Hubby and some of my friends. (hang on Carson wants a jewwy samich...) But there is one friend in particular that wasn't just there for me this week but has had my back for twenty years (ACK! Now I feel old). After high school we drifted a bit because I went to college but I knew if I showed up on her door step she'd drag me inside (which she did when Hubby and I were looking for a house near her several years ago).
She is the one who encouraged me to start blogging (so yell at her if you hate reading this stuff). She knew what Hubby would look like before she met him proving to a friend how well she knew me (I like tall skinny guys so if you're short and fat, keep walking. Oh, wait, I'm married...keep walking no matter what you look like) She's the one who sends me silly pictures of herself running errands just to make me smile. She's the one who has taken some of the most beautiful pictures of me and my kids. She even let them eat on her leather couches and white carpet. She tells me when my posts sound like crap and points out my excessive use of comas and spelling errors. She tolerates my overly used exclamation points and my favorite color (pink) even though it's the color she despises the most!!!!! She thinks of me when she's on vacation halfway around the world with her amazing husband who still needs to hide the cords running through their house (love you Man!). She puts up with my endless lack of computer knowledge and is always having to fix things I screw up. She's the one who found my blog when I thought it was lost (again, blame her!). She is all of these things and so, so, so much more.
A few months ago she and I along with two other friends of ours filled out one of those email surveys. When I was finished I jokingly said that I felt I hadn't gone anywhere or done anything. She sent me an email back, which I just spent 10 minutes looking for and can't find...again. She had gone back through all of my answers and told me of all the things I had accomplished. It was one of the most beautiful things anyone has ever done for me.
If you haven't noticed I'm on a Steven Curtis Chapman high since seeing him in concert a week ago. It's a high that I hope lasts a long time. I was sitting at my desk starting this post and I got distracted again (damn ADD). I clicked over to youtube to start another SCC video and was excited to find a 10 minute long medley. I clicked back here and (hold on, Maisie has to go potty...) stared at the screen. Then I decided to check my email. As I clicked to open her message SCC started singing one of my favorites. Click here- I Will be Here- you have to listen to the song to get the full effect of this.
I hope she doesn't get mad at me for sharing this but once I read it, after I wiped my tears away, I wanted to share with the world what an incredibly wonderful, loving, and fabulous person she is. This is the end of a day long conversation:
Me: Did I ever tell you that you're a good friend? You're a great friend and I'm blessed to have you in my life.
Her: Thanks... and yes you tell me often... and I am so thankful for that. You always know how to make me grin when I need one. Thank you.
I think you deserve more than you get from people. In people, I mean pretty much everyone that comes in contact with you. You give and give and NEVER expect. I pray that one day I’ll be able to be HALF as generous as you. The best part about you... is you are this way without even trying or knowing it.
She and I have watched each other grow in so many ways. Our friendship has survived time, distance, and families. I know that she will always be here for me as I will be here for her. I love you and by tomorrow people all over the world will know it for this is why I joined the competition site, to share not to make money.