A life-changing event occurred a year ago although I can't believe that much time has gone by already. It was something I never thought would happen. I dreamt about it, wrote about it, cried about it and was angry about it. A year ago today, I had no idea my life was about to change forever.
A year ago today, I was still spending countless hours on the computer searching for my biological mother. I had what is called "non-identifying information" but I wanted more. I knew what color hair she had (brown, like mine), what color eyes she had (hazel, like mine), what her build was (medium height and weight, like mine). I knew what year she was born and what area of the country (Southern Gulf Coast state was as specific as DCF would get). I knew how old she was when she had me, what religion her family was, that she had a little brother and that her dad was in a branch of the Armed Forces (Air Force).
What I didn’t know was her name. I didn’t know if she was married. I didn’t know if she had more kids and if they knew about me. I did not know if she ever thought about me.
When I would tell people that I was adopted, the first question they would ask is, "Do you want to find your real mom?" I knew who my real mom was. She's the woman who tucked me in at night. The one who kissed my hundreds of scrapes and bruises during my tomboy phase. She's the woman who read me stories every night and fixed me breakfast every morning. She's the one who yelled at me when I was in trouble and held me when I got my heart broken. She's the one who sat up worrying until she heard my car pull safely in the driveway and saw me walk unharmed through the front door. She's the one responsible for who I am today and who listens to me apologize for the person I used to be while I was growing up. The one who helped me get ready the day I got married. My real mom is the woman who squeezed my hand and cried with me when I buried my son, knowing exactly how I felt because she'd buried her own. Barbara IS my real mom.
A year ago, I found my other mom. My biological mom. The mom who was forced to give me to a family who could take care of me because she was unable to take care of me herself. She was the one who nurtured me and cared for me as I grew inside her womb. She's the one who had to leave the hospital empty-handed and brokenhearted. She's the woman who had to make one of the hardest decisions of her life. She's the woman who, I now know, thought of me every day. Who never stopped loving me. The woman who wanted to find me as much as I wanted to find her. My biological mom is, after finally meeting her, real to me.
I feel very fortunate. Not all adoptees are placed in such loving homes. Not all adoptees are accepted wholeheartedly by their biological moms. I have the best of both worlds. I was blessed with a Fairytale adoption story. I am blessed to be loved by 2 moms.
To be continued.....
Slacker Fattie Tip – When you're cleaning or folding laundry, put on some music. Plug your iPod into your head or play the radio. Listen to your favorite CD. Most importantly, dance. Dance like you've never danced before. No one's watching so live it up. I work up a sweat, get my housework done and have fun doing it.
Sexy Meal Plan Tip – Although cheese is not on my meal plan, I allow myself to have it once a week melted over steamed veggies. It's only 60 calories and keeps me from eating a slice of pizza when my kids order out.