I need a new sports bra

I need a new sports bra…

Yup, you read that correctly. I need a new sports bra. I don't know where I got the one I have. One? Yes, one. And I'm working out every day? Yes. Since I have 4 kids, I do at least 12 loads of laundry a day so washing the sports bra everyday is no chore.

Oh, why do I need a new one? Not because this one is ratty. I'm actually surprised it has held up so long considering I bought it post-three kids and pre-two kids. I don't even remember where I got it. I do know it was on my last I'm-Gonna-Get-Sexy kick. I bought a workout wardrobe. The sports bra and some tight black hoochie shorts are all that's left. The tight black hoochie shorts were so no one could see up my not tight hoochie shorts.

Oh, so why do I need a new one? Not because it's ugly. It's actually a pretty color blue. Kind of like a light sky blue. I was in our Hootsy Tootsy mall recently (the one I have to dress up to go window shop in) and I passed by Bebe Sports store. Um, really? Women actually spend hundreds of dollars on one outfit that's just going to get stinky and sweaty? Oh, wait. This must be the store for the women who have tummy tucks and liposuction, then buy workout clothes to wear so other women (like me) think they've actually sweated to look like that. I think my workout clothes came from TJ Maxx or Marshall's. I bet once upon a time they were in Bebe but got rejected. S'okay. I don't mind paying $10 for what some Hootsy Tootsy paid $100 for. Plus, I actually sweat in mine. A lot!

Oh, so why do I need a new one? Because it's too damned tight! I don't know if it was always this tight and I just didn't realize it, or if it shrunk when Kelly borrowed it. And, no, it's not because I've gained weight. Even losing the 2 inches from my chest hasn't made it feel better. It's so tight that my ribs hurt after a while.

It was so uncomfortable earlier that I stuck my arms in my shirt to wrangle it off. Yes, I was too lazy to walk five steps to my room, take my shirt off, take the sports bra off, put my shirt back on and then walk the five steps back to the desk.

Carson, who's five, tried to lift up my shirt and asked, "Is there anything else in there?" I swat his hand away and told him no. He said, "I thought maybe there was something else in there" as he pats my boob. What is it with my kids whacking me in the boob? It's actually kind of funny because my friends who don’t have kids ask, "Isn't that annoying?" I ask, "What?" "Them hitting you in the boob." Hahaha! After all the kids I've had, I hardly even notice it anymore. It just comes with being a mom!

So, I'll let you know when I find a new sports bra. While I'm at it, I think I'll replace the rest of my bras as well. Maisie is 2 1/2 and I'm still wearing my nursing bras...and she quit nursing when she was three months old. I guess this means I need to work my ass off to win the Sexy by Summer contest so I can buy some non-nursing bras on my $500 Dillard's shopping spree! Yay!

As I just read this over (which I usually leave for my editor to do), I realized how much my ADD shows in my writing. I think I'll go back to letting my thoughts flow from my brain to my computer and send them off to be edited without re-reading them first. It irritates me to see my ADD in black and white (or blue and white as the case may be).

Slacker Fattie Tip –Try everything on before you buy it. Everything. Even undies (just make sure you have your own on!) As much as I hate trying things on, I hate getting home and finding that something doesn't fit even more. I hate returning things even more than that.

Sexy Meal Plan Tip – It's spring. Plant a garden, and then eat what you plant. I meant a vegetable garden, not flowers, though you can eat most of them if you wanted to. Hubby picked his first onion yesterday. Yay! No more buying onions! He also picked broccoli, brussel sprouts and collard greens. Get the steamer ready. Yum, yum!