Example one: I decided to take the kids to Sea World with my dear friend Pat (RIP) and her grandson. I missed the exit… so I called Hubby. He told me to get off at the next exit that said "Tampa." I got to that exit and said, out loud, "But I don't want to go to Tampa" and proceeded to go the opposite direction...thus getting us lost even more and aggravating Hubby on the phone. We made it to see Shampoo...eventually.
Example two: Just after moving to Tampa, I had to go “back home” to take Maisie to the doctor because she was two months old and we hadn't found a doctor yet. Hubby asked me if I knew how to get there. "Of course!" I replied. He told me to leave at 6:00 AM even though my appointment wasn't until 10:00 AM. I knew it wouldn't take me four hours but I left at six anyway. An hour into the drive I wondered how I missed the Thonotosassa sign. Then I wondered why there were big hills. According to my father-in-law (there was no way in hell I was calling Hubby) I was headed towards Ocala! The solution? I had to go all the way back to Tampa, get off I-275, get back on I-275, and head towards St. Petersburg. I made it to the doctor's office at 10:01. Damn it! Hubby knows me!
Example three: I was on my way home from the east coast – a drive I'd done several times since the Ocala incident. It was late and I was exhausted. I'd gotten to hold my brand new 7th nephew and spend my first Christmas with Bio Dad. I got off on I-75. A bit later I started seeing signs that I recognized...when I went to visit my parents...in Sarasota. Damned if I didn't get off the wrong friggin’ exit! Well, actually the problem was that I got off of I-4. Period. I tried calling my cousin since I was near his house but he didn't answer. No way in hell was I calling Hubby! I turned around and got on the Crosstown but missed my exit which put me in downtown Tampa. Hubby called and I fudged a bit as to what my location was. When I showed up an hour later… he knew I'd gotten lost...my fudged location was ten minutes from home.
My family loves to laugh hysterically at these and many other stories so I thought I'd share shortened versions with you. Bio Dad has come to my rescue, however. In an email he sent today he asked if I wanted:
1.) A GPS, which is what my 1/2 sister asked for (her birthday is 3 days before mine)
2.) Ray Bans Charlie's Angels style sunglasses, or
As a mom, money given to me gets spent on everyone and everything BUT me. With my recently diagnosed astigmatism, I now have prescription sunglasses. Which one do you think I should choose? The GPS? Are you sure? You really think I need one? Ok, I picked the GPS.
Hopefully it will put an end to my "getting lost stories." Not to worry, I'm sure there will be new hysterical stories of me trying to figure out how to use the damn thing.