Sunday, June 14, 2009

My Body Hates Me

My body hates me. I know it does. It didn't used to hate me. It's just in the past several months that it has decided to rebel. It's probably payback for all I put it through during my five pregnancies. In 1993, 1995/6, and 1996/7 I put my cute little body through hell growing foreign bodies and stretching parts that didn't want to be stretched. But Body still liked me then. I didn't have to lift so much as a toe to lose my baby weight (quit glaring at the monitor, blame God and good genes, not me).

Occasionally, Body would get ticked at me like the time I was forced to take Aunt Flow with me on my anniversary weekend with Hubby. For those of you men who are staring there with a blank look on your face, Aunt Flow is a female body function. If I have to explain it any further then may God help you in your relationships with women.

I'm thinking the last two pregnancies are where Body drew the line. It was skinny again and looking mighty fine. But no, I had to go and place two more foreign bodies in it (not at the same time) causing things to stretch again. Plus, I'd hit the big 3-0. Six weeks after Maisie was born I weighed 133 lbs (EEK!). Eek because I was 103 lbs when I became preggo the first time, 12 years earlier. So, in the last three years Body and I have been in a constant struggle. I make the weight go down; Body makes it go back up. I thought I'd defeated it last September when I got down to 120lbs for my half sister's wedding. For the first time in forever I looked at the wedding pictures and thought, I look hot! But, Body had other plans. By December, I was 130 pounds and by January I was 140 pounds. This is when the struggle between Slacker Fattie and the Skinny Bitch became heated. I gave them names and they took on personalities of their own (no, I do not have multiple personality disorder, I swear...but I am a Gemini!).

So, why does my body hate me now? Well, over the last six months the Skinny Bitch has defeated Slacker Fattie by losing over twenty pounds. The final weigh in for my final weight loss competition, Sexy by Summer, ends tomorrow morning. I was so excited to weigh myself yesterday and see 118.2 lbs since I'd slacked off a bit after the Waist Watchers challenge ended a few weeks ago. Now I'm nervous for tomorrow's weigh in and measuring. Body and Slacker Fattie have teamed up to make me eat Tostitos chips and artichoke dip AND fill me up with excess water thus bloating up my belly. This is in retaliation for the nasty health food and all the cardio exercises I put Body and Slacker Fattie through. Thanks, guys. If I lose by a tiny percentage of body fat tomorrow I'm blaming you. Oh, and this isn't over. Just for your horrible PMS timing I'm going to continue to eat healthy and exercise. AND I'm going to throw in extra strength training, too.

Tune in tomorrow for my final weight and measurements which I will post even though I didn't make my goal. It may take a day or two for the judges to calculate everything and let us know who won the contest, but you all will be the first to know so keep your fingers crossed!

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