I'm losing weight, raising 4 kids, am a happily reunited adopted adult, dealing with having ADD, and loving my life. I'm also proud to have my own Guardian Angel, my son Jacob, who passed away from Trisomy 18 in 1997.
Friday, July 24, 2009
The Diamond Ring
I was talking to my mom the other day and, as usual, we got into a deep discussion. I love the relationship we have not but that's for another post. We were talking about forgiveness and letting go. She told me about struggling to forgive the teenage boy who hit her eight year old son with his car. Brian died soon after (this was before she and my dad adopted me). My mom finally decided to turn it over to God. If the boy, now a man, makes the decision to ask God for forgiveness, it's up to God to decide his fate.
After losing my own son I was angry at God. Why me? Why my son? Why take babies and children? I remember on the drive from North Carolina to Florida for Jacob's funeral, Hubby said to me, "I hope you don't stay angry at God for long." We're not a deeply religious family and have only taken the kids to church a handful of times, but that statement hit me hard. I realized it didn't do any good to be angry at God. Nothing was going to change. My son would still be gone. I let go of my anger and made peace with Him.
As my mom and I talked more we touched something else. We talked about when something that means a lot to you is broken or lost – is it worth getting upset over it? What good does it do to get angry or cry? None. I've lost pieces of jewelry and broken things that were given to me. Some I cried over but most I didn't. I didn't lose or break them on purpose. Crying, being angry, or getting upset wasn't going to fix the broken things or make the lost things suddenly appear. I have them in my memories.
Then my mom shared a story with me. My dad bought her a diamond cluster ring at an antique store. My mom loved that ring. One day when she was wearing it, it slipped off of her finger and was lost. When my mom told my dad she'd lost the ring his reply was, "I hope it was found by someone who has never had something like that and that they are enjoying it."
What a beautiful outlook on a sad situation. I'll never forget that story or the words my dad said. I've had people tell me that I am a giving person. After hearing this story it opened my eyes to why I am giving. I learned it from the best.