Time to pay the bills

Yes, this is long but that's the point. This is one of those laugh or cry situations. Each month I prefer to laugh.

Paying AT&T
dial *PAY
The amount due is $984.26 (Not really but thank goodness for rollover minutes and unlimited texting!) If you would like to pay the full amount press 1 for a different amount press 2.
1
To use the bank account ending in **** you used last time press 1. To use a different account press 2.
1
Thank you for making a payment using our automated system. Your confirmation number will be sent to your phone shortly.
Hang up.
Total time: 25 seconds

Paying TECO
Thank you for calling the Tampa Electric Company. To report a power outage, electrical emergency, blah, blah, blah press 1. For all other services press 2.
2
To pay by phone press 1
1
Tampa Electric Company employees cannot process payments. To use our automated payment system press 1.
1 (I could have sworn I just pressed 1 to pay by phone)
Please enter you sixteen digit account number followed by the pound key.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx # (If you want to pay my bill for me next time I’ll gladly give you the actual number)
You entered xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. If this is correct press 1 of not press 3. (What happened to 2?)
1
Please enter the zip code associated with this account.
Xxxxx
You entered xxxxx. If this is correct press one if not press 3. (Do they have something against the #2?)
Please press 1 for deposit or 3 for bill payment.
3
Please enter the amount you would like to pay. You can pay up to $500.00 per transaction. You will also be charged a fee of $4.95 for Just Pay It. Tampa Electric does not receive a portion of this fee. To continue press 1 to disconnect press 2. (Oh, that’s where #2 went. Must be the universal number for disconnect).
1
Please enter the amount you would like to pay.
$500.00 (Hey, we’re a family of six living in Florida’s scorching summer. Kidding, it’s not really that high.)
You entered $500.00. If this is correct press 1 if not press 3.
1
Please enter the phone number associated with this account. Tampa Electric Company does not give out this information, blah, blah, blah.
(555) 555-5555 (You didn’t seriously think I would give my phone number out to thousands of strangers did you?)
You entered (555) 555-5555. If this is correct press 1 if not press 3.
1
Please enter your 16 digit credit card number or band routing number followed by the # key. (Nope, you're not getting that either!)
*************** #
You entered ***…… if this is correct press 1 if not press 3.
1
Please enter the four digit expiration date followed by the # key.
0911# (Yup, that was our old expiration date. I was so glad to get a new card. The sympathy we received from people was overwhelming, like we were cursed because the expiration date was 9/11)
You entered September 2011. If this is correct press 1 if not press 3.
1
Please enter the numbers in the billing address associated with this account. For example, if your address is 432 DoIreallyneeddirectiontsforthis Drive you would enter 432 followed by the #.
555# (again, not really)
You entered 555. If this is correct press 1 if not press 3.
1
Please enter the five digit zip code associated with the billing address followed by the # key.
Xxxx#
I’m sorry this information is incorrect. This transaction has been canceled. Good-bye.
Seriously? I don’t get a do-over? Rrrrrr!

Here we go again!

Thank you for calling the Tampa Electric Company. To report a power outage, electrical emergency, blah, blah, blah press 1. For all other services press 2.
2
To pay by phone press 1
1
While operators are unable to process payments you can use out automated system. To use our automated payment system
press 1.
1
Please enter you sixteen digit account number followed by the pound key.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx #
You entered xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. If this is correct press 1 of not press 3.
1
Please enter the zip code associated with this account.
Xxxxx
You entered xxxxx. If this is correct press one if not press 3.
1
Please press 1 for deposit or 3 for bill payment.
3
Please enter the amount you would like to pay. You can pay up to $500.00 per transaction. You will also be charged a fee of $4.95 for Just Pay It. Tampa Electric does not receive a portion of this fee. To continue press 1 to disconnect press 2.
1
Please enter the amount you would like to pay.
$500.00
You entered $500.00. If this is correct press 1 if not press 3.
1
Please enter the phone number associated with this account. Tampa Electric Company does not give out this information, blah, blah, blah.
(555) 555-5555
You entered (555) 555-5555. If this is correct press 1 if not press 3.
1
Please enter your credit card number or bank routing number followed by the # key.
*************** #
You entered ***…… if this is correct press 1 if not press 3.
1
Please enter the four digit expiration date followed by the # key.
0911 #
You entered September 2011. If this is correct press 1 if not press 3.
1
Please enter the numbers in the billing address associated with this account. For example, if your address is 432 DoIreallyneeddirectiontsforthis Drive you would enter 432 followed by the #.
555 #
You entered 555. If this is correct press 1 if not press 3.
1
Please enter the five digit zip code associated with the billing address followed by the # key.
Xxxx# (I made sure I got the number correct this time)
If this is correct press 1 if not press 3.
1
Please enter the 3 digit CVV code. This code can be found blah, blah, blah
123 (Not really)
You entered 123. If this is correct press 1 of not press 3.
1
By continuing you are authorizing a payment of $500.00 plus a $4.95 fee for Just Pay It. To continue press 1 to disconnect press 2.
1
You have authorized a payment of $500.00 plus a $4.95 convenience fee.
Please wait for your confirmation number.
Please wait for your confirmation number.
Please wait for your confirmation number.
Your confirmation number is 38495059378393020-3404988584990404 (rattled off at lightning speed).
Thank you for using Tampa Electric Company’s automated payment system.
Hang up.
Total time: 14 minutes

I’ll save the cable bill for another day. Paying a bill with voice control when you have four kids is impossible. Literally.