I'm losing weight, raising 4 kids, am a happily reunited adopted adult, dealing with having ADD, and loving my life. I'm also proud to have my own Guardian Angel, my son Jacob, who passed away from Trisomy 18 in 1997.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Mom's Job Description
My Job Description post inspired me to write this one about the many jobs we moms do.
Dentist- someone has to teach them how to brush and get that corn-on-the-cob out of their teeth. Taxi driver- fortunately this stops when they turn 16...on second thought… Doctor/Surgeon- oh, the stuffed animals I’ve stitched up and the countless meds I’ve administered. Lobbyist- hey someone has to sell all those lobbies. Lawyer- although I wind up representing both sides. Policeman (or woman for you P.C. people)- the job just before I become a lawyer. Coroner- for pets, not the kids! This is one of those times when ‘white lies’ are okay. Paralegal- someone has to do the research for that stupid science project.Politician- hey, democracy works in our household. OB/GYN- ONLY in the case of daughters needing feminine hygiene questions answered…unless you have my kid who just Googles them. Coach- oh, the sore throats I had being a soccer coach and judging by our win/loss record, they sure had a lot of fun. Teacher- my poor kids are required by us to learn how to read and write before they enter Kindergarten…then there’s that whole homework issue. Cook/Chef- depending on the menu, a cook makes Apple Jacks and a chef makes macaroni and cheese. Laundress- I so don’t get paid enough to do laundry for 6 people. Dishwasher- see above. Maid- see above. Bather- after the age of five their on their own. Nurse- until we get our MD which happens after kid #2. Personal dresser- after age three they’re on their own. Personal shopper- I don’t think this job ever ends. Personal assistant- see above. Secretary- for the times they’re too sick or lazy to do their definitions. Bottle opener- yes, we have the little gadget for this but they somehow can’t figure out how to use it. Rocking chair- this job ends when the child is too big for a lap. Bed- see above. Singer- either to make them laugh or put them to sleep…mostly mine just laugh.Artist- who knew learning to draw stick figures would come in handy one day?Diaper changer- I changed theirs…one day they’ll have to change mine.Seamstress- if they would quit falling down they wouldn’t have holes in their pants. Groomer- I don’t know why I bother, they just mess it up the second they’re out of my site. Cheerleader- for the times they’re having fun instead of worrying about winning.Plumber- not my favorite job, G.I. Joe and Polly Pocket did not need to have a Jacuzzi. Electrician- how many moms does it take to change a light bulb? One! With all we do, changing light bulbs is an easy job. Dictionary- I’ve learned the phrase “That’s one of those words that hard to explain…go look it up.” Counselor- for after the losers and hootchies break my kid‘s hearts.
And my absolute favorites:
Tissue- even though we carry the little packets somehow our clothes work much better. Food taster- for those “ewww, try this” moments. Tickler- I make sure to stop before the pee in their pants, usually.
And last but certainly not least:
Pudding lid licker- and there are no calories in the pudding on the lid…honest!