To my loving husband, children, friends, and family,
If I follow in Grandma and Nanny's footsteps and develop Alzheimer's I have a request.
If Alzheimer's steals my thoughts, my dreams, my memories- please check me into an inexpensive but safe nursing home. I don't want a lot of money spent on a place I won't remember from one moment to the next.
Under no circumstances are any of you to visit me. Drop me off, kiss me goodbye, let me call you each by your name one last time- then leave. Don't come back. Don't come check on me. Don't visit. Ever.
I've seen what it does to loved ones who visit Alzheimer patients. I don't want that for you. I don't want you to remember me sitting in a chair staring at the wall. I don't want your heart to break when I call you the wrong name or worse- don't call you anything at all.
I want you to remember me as vibrant and carefree. Remember my goofiness, my ability to make you laugh hysterically, even the times I made you extremely angry. Remember the words of wisdom I passed on to you, the silly things I did to get the frowns off of your faces, the times I made you roll your eyes. I want you to think about the trips we took, the places we went, trips to the grocery, and the mall. Think of all the happy times we spent riding roller coasters and watching the animals at Busch Gardens.
Remember those times. Remember that me. Remember because I won't be able to.
To Hubby, I won't know who you are. I won't know who I am. I won't remember any of the houses we lived in, where we got married, when I gave birth or even if I did. I won't remember the special places we went- just you and me. I won't remember my favorite cocktail, my favorite vacation spot, or even my favorite color. I won't remember sleeping next to you, the feel of your hand in mine, or the love I'm sure you felt for me.
Goodbye my children. Goodbye my friends and family. Goodbye my love.
You may come back when my time on earth is finished. Until then, live your lives. Be happy. Be free.
Alzheimer's stole me from you but I'll be fine. One day I'll remember.
I'll be free.
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